Lingua
In a Korean family, the first visit to your partner's parents is rarely just a dinner. It is often the moment the relationship becomes official, and the parents will notice two things before anything you actually say: how you bow and how you speak to them. You do not need fluent Korean for this. You need a handful of phrases at the right level of politeness, said slowly and with confidence.
Below are thirty phrases for the visit, from the doorway to the goodbye, in Hangul with a romanization for English speakers. After them come the etiquette Korean parents take for granted, the mistakes foreign partners make most often, and a two-week plan to get ready.
Key points
- Always use polite speech, 존댓말 (jondaenmal), with your partner's parents, even if they speak casually to you. The endings -요 (-yo) and -습니다 (-seumnida) do most of the work.
- Body language carries as much as the words: a bow when you greet, two hands when you give or receive something, and waiting for the eldest to start eating.
- Thirty phrases is a lot for one evening. Pick the ten that fit your family, practise them out loud with your partner, and treat the rest as a bonus.
Before the visit
- Ask your partner how the family speaks. Some parents are relaxed, others expect a formal greeting. Ask what to call them: most foreign partners use 아버님 (abeonim) and 어머님 (eomeonim), a respectful "father" and "mother", but your partner knows the family best.
- Bring a gift. A box of good fruit, a quality food gift or something typical of your home country is the classic choice. Hand it over with both hands, right after the greeting.
- Expect personal questions. Your age, your job, your family and your plans are normal topics at a first meeting in Korea, not rudeness. Prepare a one-line answer for each.
- Dress neatly and arrive on time. Shoes come off at the door, so wear socks you are happy to show.
The 30 phrases
The romanization follows the standard system but is written the way the words are pronounced. Read eo like the "u" in "cup" with the jaw a little lower, eu like "oo" with the lips spread rather than rounded, and ae and e both like the "e" in "bed". Double consonants (kk, tt, pp, ss, jj) are tense and sharp, with no puff of air. ○○ marks a name or a word you fill in.
Greetings and first words
| Korean | Say it like | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 안녕하세요. | an-nyeong-ha-se-yo | Hello. The safe greeting at any time of day. |
| 처음 뵙겠습니다. | cheo-eum bwep-kke-sseum-ni-da | Nice to meet you, literally "I humbly see you for the first time". |
| 저는 ○○(이)라고 합니다. | jeo-neun ○○(i)-ra-go ham-ni-da | My name is ○○. Add i after a name that ends in a consonant. |
| 만나 뵙게 되어 정말 반갑습니다. | man-na bwep-kke doe-eo jeong-mal ban-gap-sseum-ni-da | I'm truly glad to meet you. |
| 말씀 많이 들었습니다. | mal-sseum ma-ni deu-reo-sseum-ni-da | I've heard a lot about you. |
| 초대해 주셔서 감사합니다. | cho-dae-hae ju-syeo-seo gam-sa-ham-ni-da | Thank you for inviting me. |
Polite forms and asking for help
| Korean | Say it like | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 아버님, 어머님 | a-beo-nim, eo-meo-nim | Father, mother: the respectful way to address your partner's parents. |
| 약소하지만 받아 주세요. | yak-sso-ha-ji-man ba-da ju-se-yo | It's only something small, but please accept it. |
| 앞으로 잘 부탁드립니다. | a-peu-ro jal bu-tak-tteu-rim-ni-da | Literally "I ask for your kindness from now on", the standard close of an introduction. |
| 한국어를 아직 잘 못해요. | han-gu-geo-reul a-jik jal mo-tae-yo | My Korean isn't good yet. |
| 천천히 말씀해 주시겠어요? | cheon-cheon-hi mal-sseum-hae ju-si-ge-sseo-yo | Could you speak slowly, please? |
| 다시 한번 말씀해 주시겠어요? | da-si han-beon mal-sseum-hae ju-si-ge-sseo-yo | Could you say that once more? |
At the table
| Korean | Say it like | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 집이 참 아늑하네요. | ji-bi cham a-neu-ka-ne-yo | Your home is so cosy. |
| 잘 먹겠습니다. | jal meok-kke-sseum-ni-da | Said before eating, literally "I will eat well": a thank-you to the cook. |
| 정말 맛있어요. | jeong-mal ma-si-sseo-yo | It's really delicious. |
| 음식 솜씨가 정말 좋으세요. | eum-sik som-ssi-ga jeong-mal jo-eu-se-yo | You're a wonderful cook. |
| 이건 어떻게 만드셨어요? | i-geon eo-tteo-ke man-deu-syeo-sseo-yo | How did you make this? |
| 조금 더 먹어도 될까요? | jo-geum deo meo-geo-do doel-kka-yo | May I have a little more? |
| 잘 먹었습니다. | jal meo-geo-sseum-ni-da | Said after eating, literally "I ate well": thank you for the meal. |
| 제가 도와드릴게요. | je-ga do-wa-deu-ril-kke-yo | Let me help. |
Small talk
| Korean | Say it like | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| ○○에서 왔습니다. | ○○-e-seo wat-sseum-ni-da | I'm from ○○. |
| 저는 ○○(으)로 일하고 있습니다. | jeo-neun ○○(eu)-ro il-ha-go it-sseum-ni-da | I work as ○○. |
| 한국어를 배우고 있어요. | han-gu-geo-reul bae-u-go i-sseo-yo | I'm learning Korean. |
| 이건 한국어로 뭐라고 해요? | i-geon han-gu-geo-ro mwo-ra-go hae-yo | What do you call this in Korean? |
| ○○ 씨 덕분에 매일 행복해요. | ○○ ssi deok-ppu-ne mae-il haeng-bo-kae-yo | Thanks to ○○, I'm happy every day. |
Thanks and goodbye
| Korean | Say it like | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 신경 써 주셔서 감사합니다. | sin-gyeong sseo ju-syeo-seo gam-sa-ham-ni-da | Thank you for going to all this trouble. |
| 오늘 정말 즐거웠습니다. | o-neul jeong-mal jeul-geo-wot-sseum-ni-da | I had a wonderful time today. |
| 다음에 또 뵙겠습니다. | da-eu-me tto bwep-kke-sseum-ni-da | I hope to see you again soon. |
| 안녕히 계세요. | an-nyeong-hi gye-se-yo | Goodbye, said by the one leaving to the people who stay. |
| 건강하세요. | geon-gang-ha-se-yo | Stay well: a warm goodbye to older people. |
Etiquette Korean parents take for granted
- Bow first. A slight bow from the waist with 안녕하세요 is the greeting. If the father offers his hand, shake it while bowing a little, with your left hand lightly touching your right forearm.
- Two hands for anything that passes between you and an elder: the gift, a glass, a plate, a business card.
- The eldest starts. Wait until a parent picks up their spoon before you eat, and do not leave the table before them unless you are offering to help clear it.
- Drinks have their own rules. When a parent pours for you, hold your glass with both hands; when you drink, turn your head slightly away from them. Pour for them in return, never for yourself. Declining is fine: 술은 잘 못 마셔요 (su-reun jal mon ma-syeo-yo) means "I can't really drink".
- Your partner may talk casually to their parents; you do not. Hearing your partner use 반말 (banmal), the casual speech, at home is normal. Copying it is not.
- Leaving is a small ceremony. The parents will often walk you to the door or even to the lift. Say 들어가세요 (deu-reo-ga-se-yo), "please go back inside", so they do not have to see you off any further.
Common mistakes
- Speaking the Korean of dramas or of your partner. 고마워 (gomawo) and 사랑해 (saranghae) are casual forms. To the parents it is 감사합니다 and, if it ever comes to it, 사랑해요.
- Using "you". Korean avoids pronouns with elders, and 당신 (dangsin) said to a parent can sound confrontational. Use 아버님 or 어머님 where English would say "you".
- Calling a parent by their first name, even if they introduce themselves with it. In Korea that almost never happens.
- Chopsticks standing upright in the rice. This is how rice is offered to the dead; lay them across the bowl or on the rest.
- Refusing everything. Try a little of each dish. Accepting a second helping is a compliment to the cook, not greed.
A two-week practice plan
- Days 1–3: greetings. Say the first six phrases out loud every day, record yourself and compare with your partner's version.
- Days 4–6: the table. Say 잘 먹겠습니다 before and 잘 먹었습니다 after every meal at home, until it is automatic.
- Days 7–9: the questions. Prepare short answers about your age, your job, your family and how you met. Your partner plays the parents and asks them in Korean.
- Days 10–12: the whole visit. Role-play it from the doorway to the lift, including the bow and handing over the gift with both hands.
- Days 13–14: polish. Slow down, fix one sound per phrase, and choose the ten phrases you will definitely use.
If Hangul still looks like a wall, start there: a new alphabet takes days, not months, and reading the phrases in their own script makes them stick.
How LinguaPair helps you get ready
LinguaPair is an app for learning your partner's language together. You invite your partner and your two accounts become a pair: you follow your own Korean course in short lessons, with the A0 and A1 levels free, and each of you sees the other's level and streak. Games against each other, translation duels and vocabulary races, are built from your words and turn the phrases above into a contest. On the day itself, the live translator works on one phone at the table: each person speaks their own language and every line is translated as you go, so the parents can ask what they really want to ask, and you can answer more than "yes". The words from those conversations land in your vocabulary trainer for the next visit. Games and unlimited translation come with Premium, and one subscription covers both of you.
If the relationship is heading for a wedding, the next step is a toast and vows in your partner's language. For the three words that usually come first, see how to say I love you in 10 languages, and if your partner's family is Japanese, read 30 phrases for meeting Japanese parents.
Meeting a Brazilian or an Italian family instead? See 30 phrases for meeting Brazilian parents and 30 phrases for meeting Italian parents.
For a Spanish-speaking or a French family, see 30 phrases for meeting Spanish-speaking parents and 30 phrases for meeting French parents.