Come stai? – tu and Lei

Come stai? Come va? – asking how someone is

Come stai? – “how are you?” – is for someone you call tu; Come sta? is the same question with the polite Lei. Come va? – “how is it going?” – works with both. The full answer uses the verb stare: sto bene, “I’m fine”, but most people just say bene. Then thank and ask back: Bene, grazie. E tu? – or, politely, E Lei?

Tu or Lei?

Italian has two ways to say “you” to one person. Tu is for friends, family, children, classmates and, among young people, almost everyone. Lei is the polite form for strangers, older people, staff in shops and offices, a doctor or a teacher. Lei takes the verb of “he” and “she”: Lei è di Roma?, Lei come si chiama?, Come sta? In letters and formal emails it is often written with a capital L, to tell it apart from lei, “she”; in everyday writing the small letter is common too. When an Italian says Diamoci del tu! – “let’s say tu to each other” – you can switch.

– Buongiorno! Come sta? – Bene, grazie. E Lei?– Good morning! How are you? – Fine, thank you. And you?

Grazie, prego, scusa, scusi

Grazie means “thank you”, and the answer is prego – “you’re welcome”. Prego also means “please, go ahead”, when you let someone pass or offer a seat. To say “excuse me” or “sorry”, the split between tu and Lei appears again: scusa to a friend, scusi to a stranger. It also opens a question: Scusi, Lei parla inglese?

– Scusa, sei Paolo? – No, sono Luca.– Sorry, are you Paolo? – No, I’m Luca.